An Irishman Wants A Job, But First He Has To Pass A Math Test

                                       

An Irishman wants a job, but the boss won't hire him until he passes a little math test.

"Here is your first question," the boss said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9."

"Without numbers?" the Irishman says, "Dats easy." And proceeds to draw three trees.

"What's this?" the boss asks.

"Tree and tree, plus tree makes 9," says the man.

"Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99."

The man stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree... "Ere ye go." (more after the cut)

Career Options for Those who Have Become Victims Of the Abuja Life

       

Abuja is a really chilled place, no traffic, nice spots, a certain reputation for security, expensive shit here and there but don't let the flashy cars, the tarred roads, the rich politicians, the private jets and mansions, fool you, it’s all about packaging and if you remove the wraps and rainbows all you see is people with empty lives, mostly fakes trying to be what they are not. As a new person in Abuja it will be so hard to keep up because you’ll judge your “behind the scenes” with their “packaged edited movie” and do all sorts to join the trend. Half the people in Abuja don't have legit jobs and below I'm going to list the different career paths for both men and women in Abuja, 5 each and according to hierarchy (more after the cut)

Monday Inspiration: Get Unstuck, 10 Things you Must Give up to Move Forward In Life

       

If you want to fly and move on to better things, you have to give up the things that weigh you down – which is not always as obvious and easy as it sounds.

Starting today, give up…

1.      Letting the opinions of others control your life. – People know your name, not your story.  They’ve heard what you’ve done, but not what you’ve been through.  So take their opinions of you with a grain of salt.  In the end, it’s not what others think, it’s what you think about yourself that counts.  Sometimes you have to do exactly what’s best for you and your life, not what’s best for everyone else.

2.      The shame of past failures. – You will fail sometimes, and that’s okay.  The faster you accept this, the faster you can get on with being brilliant.  Your past does not equal your future.  Just because you failed yesterday; or all day today; or a moment ago; or for the last six months; or for the last sixteen years, doesn’t have any impact on the current moment.  All that matters is what you do right now. (More after the cut)

How to Chase Away a Man you Don't like that Just won't go Away, 5 Ways (Ladies)

      

All ladies have had guys that have chased them whom they didn't like, well if you're ugly, broke, short, no car, still in university, etc. Then many ladies won't want you but if you’re rich and you’re short, black, if you like have 1 eye, in Abuja it’s the women that will chase you. Well we know how annoying it is when someone who doesn’t meet the standards in your head, tries to be friends and even wants to get down, so if you're tired like me, I'll give you tips to make him leave you alone faster than Usain Bolt. (more after the cut)

Trippy Friday: The Most Peaceful Way To Die (Heroin)

Let me preface by saying I've been doing heroin for about 2 and half years now. I've smoked it and injected in intravenously but I highly prefer smoking mainly because it's far easier to acquire some tin foil as opposed to a rig and the high is far easier to control. However, in this experience I will be sharing my close call with death in what has been highlighted as one of the scariest nights of my life.
I can't remember each and every detail to a fine point, but I will do my best to recall exactly what happened. It was dusk when a buddy of mine (J) and his love interest at the time (A) picked me up from a street corner approximately three blocks from my house. I couldn't risk my dad seeing I was leaving. I had about $20 bucks in my pocket and so did J. Once we took off we drove for what seemed to be an eternity to get to the connect's meeting place. We waited for roughly twenty minutes and when they finally showed up we wasted little time preparing our shots. I noticed J was already preparing his rig (which looked to be a little more than usual, but I said nothing), to my everlasting surprise he told me to come to the front seat and said the shot was for me. Again, I obeyed blindly and didn't say anything except a soft 'Heh, that's a little more than I'm used too' He scoffed and told me to get ready. (more after the cut)

Dear Nigerians: Left Hand? Am I Your Mate?

Mehn Nigerians love respect “over too much” like dammit, or let’s say it’s because we have a culture but that’s just another excuse for taking petty shit way too seriously. Dear Nigerians, so I’m left handed and it has been a pain in my ass because to the elderly Nigerian, using left hand to give them anything is an insult to their total existence and when this happens they be like “am I your mate? Common use your right hand” and then someone like me will have to apologize for naturally being left handed. Beht why? Some tribes see it as a taboo and as a sign of you wishing them a string of bad luck. Isn’t this modern day discrimination against we left handed folk? Is it our fault? Biko what’s your take on this matter?

#TBT Abuja Post: Importer, Exporter!

So word on the town is that Abuja girls are not enough for the Abuja men and what do they do about this? Well you're about to find out.

Abuja men now import girls from different countries just to meet their sexual needs. They pay these girls tickets to and fro say Brazil, mostly UK, also US, South Africa and other places. When they get here they lodge them, pay all their expenses whatsoever while they are here and have a good time.(more after the cut)

Poetry Wednesday: One More Taste (a poem about addiction)

                                  

Like an empty bottle of whiskey,
I’ve drank you down to the last drop.
The alcoholic in me is still thirsty,
But my rationale tells me to stop.

A madman feening, I sit alone with my demons,
Pacing, wrestling with racing thoughts.
Counting the minutes waiting out these hellish withdrawals,
But the hands sit idle on the clock. (more after the cut)

An Old Couple Is Having Trouble Remembering Things

                           

A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair. "Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?" he asks. (more after the cut)

4 Keys to Lasting Addiction Recovery: Finding happiness makes recovery more rewarding and more motivating than relapse

  

We know that treatment for addiction is effective. However, relapse rates during treatment and soon after remain high. As a result, we have many opportunities to improve the way we deliver care.

Addicts are the experts in themselves, and if recovery is not motivating and rewarding, if they don’t find a heightened sense of meaning, they will not stay sober.

“Positive recovery ” therefore, aims to fill the gaps in how addiction is treated through a balanced approach that attends not only to the disease, but also to the elements that make life most worth living. (more after the cut)

9 Signs a Relationship isn't going to Work Out

                                 

When I look back at the heartbreaks I've had, I see that many were because I didn't see the signs a relationship isn't going to work out. Sometimes I didn't know they were there, but most of the time I didn't see them because I didn't want to. I guess the knowledge that there was something I simply couldn't fix was too much for me to face. I'm sure some of you can relate. I may not be able to change the past, but one thing I can do is give you the signs a relationship isn't going to work out so you won't have to go through the pain and frustration I did. Here are 9 of them, although I'm sure you can think of more.(more after the cut)

The 80 Year-Old Man And His Beautiful Young Bride

                             

An 80 year old man was having his annual checkup, and the doctor asked him how he was feeling.

"I've never been better!" he boasted.

"I've got a 20 year old bride who's pregnant, and having my child! What do you think about that?"

The doctor considered this for a moment, then said, "Let me tell you a story. I knew a guy who was an avid hunter. (more after the cut)

Why Are People The Way They Are?

  

It was the 2nd day of 2016, and this question has always been bugging me every passing year. Why are people the way they are? We are all humans, and we all have different feelings each day depending on what's going on in our lives. I saw these 2 gentlemen at a casino in Las Vegas going at each other over something that was not worth fighting over. I was in Las Vegas to celebrate the New Years. It's supposed to be a happy celebration, except for some people. Two guys tried to sit down on the same slot machine to play, and instead of letting the other have it they fight over it. (more after the cut)

"Private Jet Things"

        

It's not by force to travel with flight, that's why "God is Good" or “Peace motors” is there but no, some people will not agree because they don’t want to feel like the common masses traveling by  road.

As many Abuja People have private jets which of course is a major luxury and is quite awesome because they get to be comfortable and you don't have to pay some ridiculous amount for ticket. Also the infamous private jet selfies for bragging rights on Instagram and Snapchat is what many people crave. In Abuja Trust the wanna be’s and people who want others to feel they have connections to take advantage of another man’s luxury.

And this has led to the new trend in Abuja  for these wanna be’s that cannot afford flight ticket but want to fly by all means because they're allergic to road, this is what they do. (more after the cut)

Monday Inspiration: Taking Responsibility For Your Actions (In This New Year)

                             

What Does It Mean?

Why is it so difficult for us to accept responsibility for our actions? There is a story of two parents with two children who attended 5 schools before 10th grade all within a 20 mile radius because they claimed the schools were horrible and the teachers showed favoritism. At what point would these parents accept responsibility for their children's involvement in the problems they experienced?

We all like to feel important and have others have a high opinion of us. Some more than others develop an over-inflated view of themselves. These tendencies act to wrap us in what many call "denial", which creates a false perception of self and the inability to accept the truth about us. It then becomes painful to accept that mistakes are possible and when we make them the first reaction is to point the finger at someone else. We refuse to think objectively and accept any involvement for our actions. Taking responsibility can be a very painful thing to do. (More after the cut)

30 Lessons I've Learnt from my Hard times Continued

      

16. If you feel it's wrong, don't do it, little things can destroy your life in big ways.
17. Make prayer your lifestyle. Without God we can do nothing, forget all those people who don't know God but yet they seem to have it all because my dear they don't.  Only God can give you anything you want and more without adding sorrow to it, only him can give you true happiness and peace of mind.
18. Money cannot make you truly happy, never. You have to consciously decide to be happy and be grateful for your life and situations.
19. Don't follow the crowd. Never ever do it.
20. Self-control and self-discipline is the top 1 survival skill you need. (more after the cut)

Trippy Friday: My Journey To Insanity

I ate the quarter of disgusting mushrooms over a 5-minute time span, starting at exactly 7:00 PM. I was at my friend Adam’s house, hanging out in his basement with a bunch of other friends. Two people had taken rolls, and everyone else was smoking weed. I was really excited about the intense trip that I would experience.
About 8 minutes after consumption, I noticed that the mushrooms were already beginning to kick in. Everything around began to look different. The room became started to seem more noticeable and more real. The colors in the room were gradually becoming brighter. What I was experiencing was nothing very intense, but I was feeling some nervousness. It hadn't even been 10 minutes and I was already feeling the mushrooms. In my entire shrooming career, mushrooms had NEVER kicked in that fast. It occurred to me that I probably shouldn’t have eaten so many shrooms on an empty stomach. I decided not to tell anybody that the shrooms were already kicking in. I figured everyone would think that I was just exaggerating anyway. (more after the cut)

What are Your New Year's Resolutions? Here are 10 ways on how you can stick to it and follow it through in the Coming Year.

It's very easy to make New Year's resolutions in the heat of enthusiasm and glowing joy but most of us are more familiar with the difficulty of sticking to the resolutions! It is possible but it does take focus, planning, and a determination to stick with the resolutions for the same amount of time it takes to change a habit, so that the resolutions also turn into new habits. (more after the cut)

HAPPY NEW YEAR. WELCOME TO 2016

                                                        

Happy New Year, Welcome to 2016, wishing you all the best of everything life has to offer and may your dreams come true, What a time to be alive.

 

8 Things You Forgot To be Grateful For As The Year Ends Today

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”
―Epicurus

Sometimes Angel and I get so caught up pursuing the next big thing, that we forget to pause and appreciate the things we have, and the things we’ve experienced, learned and achieved along the way.

In other words, we forget to give thanks continuously, for all things.  Since every step we have taken has led us right to where we are, and all things have contributed to our development, when we finally do pause to give thanks, we try to include ALL things in our gratitude.

So that’s what I want to reflect on today – a few quick reminders about some things you, too, likely forget to be grateful for…(more after the cut)