What Does It Mean?
Why is it so difficult for us to
accept responsibility for our actions? There is a story of two parents with two
children who attended 5 schools before 10th grade all within a 20 mile radius
because they claimed the schools were horrible and the teachers showed
favoritism. At what point would these parents accept responsibility for their
children's involvement in the problems they experienced?
We all like to feel important and have
others have a high opinion of us. Some more than others develop an
over-inflated view of themselves. These tendencies act to wrap us in what many
call "denial", which creates a false perception of self and the
inability to accept the truth about us. It then becomes painful to accept that
mistakes are possible and when we make them the first reaction is to point the
finger at someone else. We refuse to think objectively and accept any
involvement for our actions. Taking responsibility can be a very painful thing
to do. (More after the cut)
The inability to accept
responsibility for our actions and behaviors is a result of insecurity. By
taking responsibility one feels they are admitting to being weak, powerless, or
an opportunity to lose the respect of others. It may cause one to feel they
will lose their sense of value and importance.
On the contrary, taking
responsibility earns you respect. We can't be perfect all the time, we all make
mistakes. When we accept responsibility we are accepting the blame for our
actions and also accepting the responsibility for making improvements in our
lives. Accepting responsibility is a measure of one's self-worth, their level
of security, and the true sign of strength and courage. Having this ability can
empower you to grow in ways that would bring you great rewards and
accomplishments in your life.
Who would you have greater respect
for, a person who takes responsibility for his/her actions, owns up to it and
promises to do better in the future, or someone who perpetually denies any
involvement in situations when it's obvious they may be responsible? Accepting
responsibility is a sign of personal growth and maturity. It is definitely not
a sign of weakness.
The Consequences for NOT Taking
Responsibility
When you fail to accept personal
responsibility for your actions there are a series of events that follow over
time. The consequences do not necessarily promote goal achievement and success
in life. The signals you send to the subconscious can come back to sabotage
your progress.
One of the negative consequences
that follow is an exaggerated sense of self that makes it difficult to get
along with others. You then run the risk of becoming involved in conflicting
situations and becoming more critical of others. Because your perception of
your importance is exaggerated, your expectation of others is unrealistic and
you become impatient, intolerant, and demanding. With this attitude, you act as
a repellent to others, finding it difficult to gain their cooperation. Your
relationships can suffer and before long very few people would want to be
around you.
When taking responsibility for your actions is
difficult to accept, you experience frequent feelings of insecurity. These
insecurities can trigger doubt about your own abilities, which undermines your
self-confidence. In this state of mind you have a high need to be right at all
times to compensate for what you feel you are lacking. You defend your every
action, right or wrong. It compounds the already existing problem of being
unable to accept personal responsibility and reinforces this behavior even
more.
Once this habit of refusing to
accept personal responsibility is maintained, your character can become slowly
transformed. You may tend to become someone who is irresponsible, a quitter,
reliant on others, disturbed, unhappy, hopeless, angry, irrational, and defiant
or even depressed. These qualities are not success enhancers. They can eat away
at your ability to achieve your best.
Examine your life today. Are you
able to accept responsibility for your actions?
Reasons why Taking Responsibility is
so Difficult
There are many people who develop
this tendency to be unable to accept personal responsibility for their actions.
Let's look in more detail some of the causes of one's inability to adopt this
characteristic.
1. Feelings of Insecurity -
There are some folks who may have been raised in a very chaotic environment
where they were constantly put down, yelled at, or emotionally abused. There
are some who grew up in an underprivileged environment and grew up with
feelings of inferiority or were raised by parents who carried feelings of
inferiority. Someone who didn't receive much attention, positive reinforcement,
or recognition growing up, always feeling overlooked. These conditions can
cause a lack of confidence in their own abilities along with feelings of low
self-esteem.
2. Arrogance- People develop
arrogance for several reasons. It could have been inherited - some folks know
very little about humility. Others are so over confident that they become
completely self-centered and see themselves as flawless and incapable of making
mistakes. There are those who are so insecure that their arrogance is a way of
compensating for their insecurities. They feel they must act superior to
others.
3. Prejudices- Some people
who feel victims of racial discrimination, intolerance, or narrow-mindedness,
are always on guard or on edge. They feel unable to get the recognition they
deserve and feel that others stand in their way of progress. This triggers
feelings of insecurities that results of the inability to accept responsibility
for their actions.
What I have identified are only some
of the underlying reasons why some of us cannot accept responsibility for our
actions. Does any of this sound familiar to you? Is so, this doesn't make you a
bad person. You should be congratulated for recognizing these characteristics
in you. Now that you are aware the next step is to making a change in your
life.
How to Take Responsibility for your
actions
Stop and think back to the last time
you accepted responsibility for something. Does it seem as if you have a
difficult time doing it? By accepting that you do have a problem in this area
and learning ways of taking responsibility for your actions, you are taking
your life to a higher level of existence. You will find yourself feeling more
vibrant and happier. So how can you learn to take responsibility for your
actions?
A. Realize that you cannot place the blame on others for the choices you
make. Be fair in your dealings.
B. Understanding that it's ok to make mistakes. No one will think less of
you. On the contrary you will earn the respect of others for admitting your
errors.
C. Seek to improve your self-esteem When your self-esteem is high, your
self-perception and self-worth is so peaked that there's no need to pretend to
be something you're not. There's no more need to feel sorry for yourself. There
are no more feelings of inferiority. Admitting your poor judgment in a
situation and taking responsibility comes easily.
D.
Build your self-confidence When you are confident in your
abilities, you won't become defensive when you make a mistake. Owning your
contribution to a situation and taking responsibility becomes natural.
E. Giving of yourself in service to others, teachers empathy and compassion,
characteristics that helps one to overcome self-centeredness.
F. Learn ways to let go of fear. Fear can create insecurities.
G.
Acceptance of who you are. Learn to love yourself unconditionally and
accept who you are.
H.
Learn how to see things objectively without bias and prejudice.
I.
Let go of bigotry.
J.
Let go of feelings of victimization. Learn to see yourself as a victor
and not a victim.
K.
Develop your spiritual life. By adding a spiritual dimension to your
life, it can help to bring more self-awareness.
Take your degree of success to a
higher to level.
Quotes On Taking Responsibility
1."The willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life is the
source from which self-respect springs." - Joan Didion
2."Errors are inevitable. The mark of character is not refusing to
recognize them, but acknowledging them and taking responsibility." -
Andrew Sullivan
3. "Success on any major scale requires you to accept responsibility.
In the final analysis, the one quality that all successful people have is the
ability to take responsibility." -Michael Korda
4. "Whatever happens, take responsibility." -Anthony Robbins
5. "The more you are willing to accept responsibility for your
actions, the more credibility you will have" -Brian Koslow
6.
"I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we
have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our
lifetime." Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
7.
"The ability to accept responsibility is the measure of the
man." - Roy L. Smith
8. "Peak performance begins with your taking complete responsibility
for your life and everything that happens to you."- Brian Tracy
9. "If you take responsibility for yourself
you will develop a hunger to accomplish your dreams." -Les Brown
1 comment:
Hallelujah somebori!
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