The wife came home early and found
her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive woman.
"You are a disrespectful
pig!" she cried. "How dare you do this to me – faithful wife, the
mother of your children! I'm leaving you. I want a divorce!"
And the husband replied "Hang
on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened."
"Fine, go ahead," she
sobbed, "but they'll be the last words you'll say to me!"
And the husband began: "Well, I
was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a
lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and
let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and
very dirty. She told me that she hadn't eaten for three days! So, in my
compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last
night, the ones you wouldn't eat because you're afraid you'll put on weight.
The poor thing devoured them in moments. (more after the cut)
Since she needed a good clean up I
suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were
dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I
gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don't use
because you say they are too tight.
I also gave her the underwear that
was your anniversary present, which you don't use because I don't have good
taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don't
use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the
expensive boutique and don't use because someone at work has a pair the
same."
The husband took a quick breath and
continued – "She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I
walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said,
'Please … do you have anything else that your wife doesn't use?'"
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