Sometimes taking back control of
your life starts with rediscovering what makes you tick, learning to take care
of yourself, or making time for the people and things that you love. Here are
five powerful tips from the book that illustrate what’s possible:
1. Be disciplined about your ‘me’
time.
Five days a week, from Tuesday to
Saturday, Rebecca Hill dedicates all of her time and attention to her
customers. Whether it’s sculpting someone’s arms or the perfect vacation, her
two jobs—as a fitness instructor and a combination innkeeper and concierge—keep
her on her toes. Sundays are devoted to “pajama day” with her husband. And then
on Mondays Rebecca takes time to pamper her most important customer: herself.
Mondays are her “My-days,” and she makes sure she spends them doing things that
make her feel great. My-days give Rebecca the positive boost and recharge she
needs to approach the rest of the week with the energy and enthusiasm. (more after the cut)
2. Don’t be afraid to flout
convention.
Her friends and family all thought
she was crazy for deciding to make the 16,000-mile trip from her home in
Florida to Alaska and back—all by herself. Especially with only four months to
plan. What they didn’t know was that Sheila Wasserman was making her dream come
true. No, she wasn’t nervous, and no, she didn’t need anyone accompanying her.
“It was hard to tell them I wanted to be alone. I like my own company.” She planned
out her grand adventure almost like she was in a dream. After packing a camper
with all the essentials, she set out on the open road to discover if there was
any more “her” left in her. It was exactly what she wanted.
3. Treat yourself as well as you would a
guest.
When Paula Klendworth Skory was a
child, her mother put out special flower-shaped soaps for company. The family
never touched them as they were for guests. Over time the little soaps
collected dust, until they didn’t really look very special at all. As an adult,
Paula continued in the same vein, putting out special things for guests, but
never using them herself. One of those things was another piece of soap, this
one a handmade gift from her artisan brother-in-law shortly after her wedding.
It wasn’t until she was diagnosed with cancer decades later that she realized
it was time to treat herself as well as a guest. The soap came out of the
drawer, and as the water ran over her hands, the colors and scent filled her
with pure joy. “I felt my troubles washing away with those tiny bits of foam.”
It was such a small thing, but it made her so happy. Now Paula understands that
she deserves the guest treatment, too.
4. Learn how to say ‘no.’
Ann Vitale spent the better part of
three decades saying yes to every request made of her. Lead a club, chair a
board, join an organization—when anyone asked a favor, she always said yes.
“The trouble is, many times when you assume the mantle people expect you will
continue to wear it year after year.” When she retired, she decided she would
do all the things she had always wanted to do for herself. She thought about
the things she had saved for later, for “as soon as…” But the requests didn’t
stop. Until one day she had a revelation: “I’d just said ‘No’ with no
explanation. …Just ‘No.’ And surprisingly, I didn’t feel guilty about it.” Now
Ann says “yes” to herself. Yes to relaxing, yes to writing, yes to tending her
flowerbed. And sometimes she still says yes to the favors, too, but only when
she really wants to.
5. Make a habit of trying new
things.
A lackluster book club meeting
suddenly took on a whole new life after Ericka Kahler decided to make a couple
of phone calls to find a guest speaker. It was like a bolt out of the blue when
she realized how simple it was to make things happen. “How many opportunities
had I lost because I didn’t make an effort?” That’s when she decided it would
be her “Summer of Yes.” When friends proposed new adventures, she
enthusiastically jumped right in. And the more she said yes, the more
invitations she got and the more new adventures she tried. By the end of the
year, she had a new job, a completed college degree, and a wide range of new
interests. “Yes” had become her mantra, and it changed her life.
* * * * *
I’d love to add my own personal tip
from my Time to Thrive story (see Chapter 70 – “From Breakdown to
Breakthrough). My tip is this:
6. Embrace what your life is trying to
teach you.
When you hit what you think is a
breaking point, don’t resist it, but embrace it. Walk right into it. Often
these moments are occurring precisely to illuminate what you’re missing in your
life, and what you deeply long for. When you learn to embrace rather than fight
the lessons these challenging moments are trying to teach you, suddenly a new
path becomes clearer and more possible than ever before. Breakdown can indeed
pave the way for breakthrough, if you let it.
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