Those with whom we assemble, we soon resemble!
This simple old
saying hides a deep truth that can enlighten and empower every aspect of our
lives:
Who we are—our
very essence—is continually being transformed by the company we keep.
Stated
differently, when we keep the company of what is dark and discouraging, our
lives can’t help but be dragged downward. And when we keep the company of what
is light and bright, our lives get lighter and brighter.
This idea might
sound a little simplistic at first, but its power soon becomes evident when we
put it to use in the quest to realize our highest aspirations. The key lies in
understanding that this principle is active on multiple levels at once.
For instance, when referring to “the company we keep,” we, of course, mean the
people we spend time with every day—family, friends, co-workers, etc.(more
after the cut)
However, on a deeper and more important level, “company” can
also refer to the thoughts and feelings moving within us in any given moment.
Have
you ever been home alone, in a fine mood, enjoying a meal perhaps, only to find
yourself bored or depressed an hour later? That’s a perfect example of the
effect of hanging out with the wrong interior friends. When we are
unconscious to the operation of our minds, any vagrant thought or feeling that
passes through us has the power to strike up a conversation and drag us into
its dark circle of influence.
But
just as it’s possible for us to keep bad interior company that pulls us down,
it is also possible to keep positive inner company that works to raise us up in
any moment we choose to remember it.
This not only means that we can choose not to get dragged down when we are
alone, but it also means that we can choose not to get dragged down when we
find ourselves in the presence of negative people, as well.
How
encouraging! When life places us in a situation where a run-in with someone is
inevitable—for example, at work, with a family member, in a store—we can choose
to keep the company of good and true interior friends who can help keep us from
falling into negative states.
And
therein lies the key: when we remember that keeping the company of negative
interior friends is a choice, instead of an obligation, we are free to
keep the company of compassion instead of anger, generosity instead of greed,
and patience instead of anxiety.
Building
on this idea, let’s look at four common types of people that can be
identified by the four prevailing dark states that inhabit them. By
learning to recognize and understand the interior workings of these four types
of “toxic people,” we gain important insight into what is dark and limiting
inside of us. In this way, we begin the process of liberation from everything
inside of us that stands in the way of knowing peace, happiness, success, and
love.
1. Muckrakers
These
negative spirits live to drag up old painful events and then revel in the
anger, resentment, or bitterness that such unhappy memories hold. Stay away
from any spirit, in others or in yourself, that wants you to dive into some
suffering over what happened in any past moment.
2. Mud Slingers
These
malicious spirits pull themselves up by pulling others down. They love to
gossip, criticize, judge, and denigrate anyone who ever had the misfortune of
spending time with them. The only loyalty these denizens of the unconscious
worlds have is to their own pain, which they feed by involving everyone they
can in their mud slinging.
3. Swamp Dwellers
There
is a group of mired spirits that thrive on low vibrations and that require a
human instrument to play out their endless dark dissonance. Easily
recognizable, these misfortunate forces serve up dreadful mental pictures of
past and future events for the sake of the unnatural reactions they produce.
Ignore these corrupted spirits, and they must take their evil speculations
elsewhere.
4. Life Haters
These
dark spirits perpetuate their hold on the human soul by resisting the beautiful
gifts of life. They trick us into commiserating with their complaining,
cruelty, and irritation because, without our unconscious consent, these
chronically conflicted spirits can’t spread their poison.
Just
as harmful viruses require a human host to exist and thrive, so do negative
states require the unconscious consent of human beings to carry out their dark
mission. For what power does a negative thought have other than the power to
convince a person to do its bidding? The answer is none!
When
we begin to consciously withdraw our consent to associate with toxic people and
the toxic thoughts and feelings inside of us, we leave them with no place to
thrive. Our real inner work is to sweep clean the places in ourselves where
such creatures reside, which in turn brightens our life and the lives of
everyone around us.
Begin today, this very moment, to
withdraw any permission you have unknowingly granted these dark spirits to be
in your life. Do not judge yourself or those
around you in whom these misdirected forces are active, but, instead, come
awake and refuse to spend one more moment of your life lending your precious
life force to their dark purposes.
This powerful, positive action will
change your life. As you begin to refuse to consort
with what is dark, you’ll find that you begin to attract what is light, bright,
and cheerful. Your relationships will deepen, your professional life will take
on new vigor and freshness, and the whole of your days will begin to resemble
the radiant life that you have deliberately chosen as your conscious companion.
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