Dont get me wrong the men get pressured too especially first sons and only sons. The struggle to have grand children early enough is real. But getting married is the easy part. In fact the wedding for some is the only time during the course of the marriage they will love each other genuinely and be truly happy because after the wedding, marriage begins and that's when yawa go start.
Someone said for a marriage to work, it's not about how compatible you guys are but how you handle the incompatibilities. Great advice but to each marriage it's own and half the time its more than that because marriage no be beans.
Back to the phrase "suffering and smiling"
So many Nigerian women in their marriages today are very unhappy. Why? I'd give you a few reasons thus: their husband cheats (normal) he cheats some more ( as usual), he doesn't provide, he's a lazy man, he abuses them physically, emotionally, spiritually, he's stingy, he would rather spend on his girlfriends than on his family, the list is long( I'm speaking from a woman's perspective here before you say "is it only men that have issues?")
Because in Naija divorce na long thing (although things are changing), these women would take nonsense for so long and be saying things like "I'll just take care of my kids and be happy for them abi derive my happiness from them" or "what will people say if I leave him now" or "nkechi will just laugh at me in her mind because she's not yet married and my own marriage has failed" the list goes on and on. These Nigerian women would rather be married than happy and secure/safe. So in all the turmoil and palava, these women will still be there, doing the same things day in day out, nagging, being bitter and expect the man to change over night and you know the saddest part of it all, most of them saw the signs of the problems they are now facing in the marriage when they were still dating but ignored it hoping they would change the man or better still God will change him in the marriage, Na so because you're APC ba?. Eventually over the years they end up suffering and smiling, still hoping that one day, things will change. Amen
Particularly in Abuja the new trend is the men are now looking for already made women to marry in fact 80% of the already existing marriages, the woman is the bread winner. Yeah I know, shocking but true.
I mean some of these men have no jobs, are lazy and yet will get the woman pregnant, bring a child or children into this world and leave all the responsibility to the poor woman then still expect her to respect him, feed him, by all the baby things, wash his clothes, take care of their kids, pay for his spectranet and dstv while he'll watch TV at home all day and chat with other hoes non stop and still beat her whenever she advice's him to get his lazy ass up and provide for his family. And this is only half of the matter. Wait do you guys think I'm exaggerating or lying here? Ask around and get the shocker of your life.
Whatever happened to a hard working man taking care of his wife and kids?
Whatever happened to a grown ass man taking responsibility for his life and that of the people he has brought into it? Whatever happened to men just loving their wife and taking care of her the best way they can? And you know what? These men will still be so proud and will be so delusional saying the woman nags at them too much. Like really? (I know some men marry the wrong women but the reverse is more prominent.)
The few 15% that are confam providers for their family now see it as a right to cheat on a daily. In fact the women who marry rich men in Abuja already know it will happen so they have it at the back of their minds and be like "I'm just with him for the money so me and my kids can be comfortable" marriage now turned into a contract or business deal, for legit cheating, the men send the wife and kids abroad so they can be living the single life here being a man ashewo while his family is somewhere, in his mind he's doing her and her kids a favor after all you're not in suffer suffer Nigeria fa.
The worse is the men that beat up their wives like who tf do you think you're to hit someone's daughter? No matter what she did you have no freaking right to hit a woman as in men that do this deserve to be hung by the balls upside down on a tree and flogged with water cane smeared with alligator pepper with razor blade on it like really that's how bad physical abuse is. Do you know how many women have died from domestic violence? No marriage is worth losing your life over, some will say "but my religion does not condone divorce" but you married the wrong person fa. Or "abeg society will stigmatize me and tag me a failure" mbok which society? Do they even care? You want the so called society to post RIP below your gist on LIB ba?
I know that no marriage is perfect and it can never be perfect and normally some good marriages are sweet most of the time but some marriages are just plain hell, year in year out and once you marry the wrong person, you'll be miserable for life because a bad marriage will slowly begin to affect other areas of your life.walahi marriage is not a do or die affair, if you're unfortunate to marry the wrong one you have to open your eyes wide and responsibility for your mistakes in life.
Mehn marriage talk is plenty...what do you think? Should some women begin to consider divorce especially in physically abusive marriages or keep suffering and smiling? I really want to know your thoughts because too many women are bitter in their marriages and won't want to ask for help because of shame and what people will say. Comment below
What does God say about Divorce?
As a Christian God doesn't approve of divorce as seen in Matthew 5:31-32 Jesus speaking said "you have heard the law that says, 'a man can divorce his wife, by merely her a written notice of divorce.' "But I say that anyone who divorces his wife, unless she has been unfaithful, causes her to commit adultery. And anyone who marries a divorced woman also commits adultery" no wonder many of them prefer to suffer and smile. But that's where prayer comes in, because the devil is behind every thing bad happening around us and he manipulates our lives when we give him an opening through sin so you need to fight the source and not the vessel, get on your knees surrender to God, ask for mercy and blast Holy Ghost fire on top the matter and watch God change your situation. I think every Christian should see the movie "War Room" to see how the war in marriages is fought and won the right way.
More to come on this topic. Share with your friends.
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