Tuesday 22 December 2015

Top 12 Reasons Why "Good Women" are Single (Part 2 of 2)

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FOR PART 1 CLICK HERE
7. You’ve been Hurt
Many single women reading this remain single or in dead-end relationships because you have been hurt in your past. This hurt can be from a previous relationship, previous situation with a man, or sexual abuse. Some of the first six reasons I listed are just manifestations of that same hurt you are holding on to. You now operate with walls up to protect you, but it is those same walls that continue to block the blessings you deserve to receive. I understand how difficult it can be to move on from these things, but if you are ever to move in the right direction as well as into a new healthy relationship, you must begin with forgiveness. Start the process of letting the pain go and watch how things improve. (more after the cut)


8. You keep entertaining the “wrong guy”
You know he isn’t the one for you yet you continue to entertain this man and his nonsense. He isn’t even giving you a full commitment but yet you are giving him all the benefits of a real relationship. How do you expect to ever find the “right guy” when you ALLOW yourself to continuously deal with the “wrong guy”? You want a relationship, but you let this (single or taken) man continue to take from you without having to fully give you what you desire in return.  You can continue to sell yourself short, but do not complain or be surprised when you find yourself still single and more emotionally damaged than you were before.
9. Your too busy enjoying the “Single Life”
You’re just having too much fun living it up. Maybe you like to come and go as you please. Maybe you enjoy the free meals, outings, and for some, the bills that get paid from your “guy friends”.  If those are your reasons, I get it, but just make sure that you aren’t using that as a front. Many women claim to love the “single life” but in a heartbeat they would trade it in for a genuine relationship. Yes, you should enjoy yourself while you’re single, but that does not mean you have to act like you enjoy being single. I hope you understand the difference. If your attitude or words say “I love being single” then understand that this will impact a man’s willingness to come at you with something more serious. Have fun, but be true to yourself and what you really desire.
10. You lack “positive energy”
This is different from #1 on the list “acting like a b**ch”. Some of you may not be negative or mean, but you still don’t give off any positive energy. If you were a light bulb, you would be a flickering light at best. Some of this is due to lack of self-esteem, unresolved issues that have sapped your strength, or just taking on too much to the point where you are beat down and worn out. Whatever the reason is, that inability to “shine bright” makes it hard for a man to be drawn to you. Whether we show it or not, we have enough issues as it is. So if you don’t seem like a source of enjoyment, or just come off as a big bag of issues. We won’t be so willing to be with you. We all have things we need to deal with, but make sure you exude some confidence and positive vibes to increase your chances of finding the right guy.
11.  You haven’t met “that guy”
Shout out to the ladies that don’t settle. Shout out to the ladies that understand that if he isn’t the right guy for you, then forcing a relationship is pointless. I applaud you and I hope more women would take that path. The reality is, just because you meet a “good guy” that doesn’t mean he is the “right guy”. Continue to be patient, but make sure that the reason you haven’t met him isn’t due to unfair requirements you have set. If “that guy” is defined by his job, car, income bracket, and things of that nature then good luck with that. Those things make finding him harder, and personally I think you should focus on finding a man you connect with. Without that connection, “that guy” will easily become “that ex” in due time.
12. You Are Waiting On GOD
There are many women who say they are just going to trust GOD and let him bring them a man. That is great, but there is a slight problem with that. Many of those same women take an approach of not doing anything to facilitate the process. They wait on GOD to deliver a man as if they are waiting on a shipment from FedEx. You still have to recognize what it is you are or are not doing correctly. If you choose to trust GOD to bring you a man, how about finding out what GOD needs you to do to get that man. Because if you are not the woman you need to be then you may find yourself waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Not because GOD can’t do his part, but because you haven’t truly tapped into doing your part.
If you are a single and after reading all 12 reasons you can say none of this applies to you, then I challenge you to get an outside opinion on if that is true. Many women can swear that there is nothing they are doing wrong, but the reality is that there is plenty you can do better. Be honest with yourself, and do what is necessary to become the woman you need to be. This article isn’t about telling women they need to be in a relationship, but if you truly would like to be in one, then understand what may be potentially holding you back. If you feel I missed anything, or disagree with the list, please leave a comment.

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