For part one click here
6. Change your routine.
When you're
stressed out, it's impossible to feel sexy. That's because when a woman
experiences chronic tension, her body produces higher levels of oxytocin, a
chemical that cancels out the effects of the sex hormone testosterone. As a
result, your libido takes a nosedive. Recharge your sexual batteries by doing
things that let you break free from your hectic everyday life, says Berman.
Play a CD that reminds you of your college days and sing along. Splurge on
something you'd normally never buy — like platform pumps — and wear them for a
girls' night out. When you're relaxed and feeling good about yourself, sex will
start to seem within the realm of possibility again. (more after the cut)
7. Make the first move.
A recent study at
the University of Virginia found that the leading predictor of a woman's
marital happiness was the level of her husband's emotional engagement. If you
two are spending quality time together, you're happy. But when you're feeling
disconnected, your relationship and your sex life suffer. Here's why: You need
to feel close to him to be inspired to make love, and he often needs sex to
feel close to you, explains Berman. How to break the stalemate? Make the first
move, says Berman. "Do something simple like thanking him for taking out
the trash. When you give him a little gratitude, it's a huge bonding moment for
him." In response, he'll start tuning back in to what you need, and you'll
be much more likely to want him in return.
8. Turn chores into foreplay.
Even in this
enlightened age, women still spend about an hour more each day than men on
household chores and childcare. No wonder we're not in the mood — we're tired!
Research at the University of Washington shows that when men pitch in around
the house, their wives are much more likely to be satisfied with the
relationship and to want more sex. "All he needs to hear is that helping
out is a form of foreplay," says Berman. The next thing you know, he'll be
pushing past you to wipe the counter, change the kitty litter, and unload the
dishwasher.
9. Leave your house.
You know it's good
to escape — from work, the kids, the dust bunnies — and concentrate on each
other. If you can't head off for the weekend, go out to dinner instead. But mix
it up a little: Pick a place you've never been and order a dish you've never
had. Better yet, visit him at work. Seeing him in a place that doesn't have
anything to do with you will reveal a different side of him and reconnect you
with the person you fell in love with. "You might see or learn something
surprising that makes you view him in a sexier way," says Berman.
10. The secret to the best sex ever...
If you need
another reason to exercise, consider this: Working out is a great way to boost
your sex life. "It stimulates not only the body but the nervous system and
the brain," says Davidson. "So you're more physiologically excited
and more receptive to sex." Exercise strengthens your cardiovascular
system, improves circulation, and gets blood flowing to all the right places.
It also gets you in the mood by reducing stress and boosting your self-esteem.
Working out gives you a sense of pride and accomplishment, says Berman.
"When you do it consistently, it makes you feel good about yourself."
Just as important,
exercise helps you tune in to your body — and tune out the world. Weight
training and Pilates, which force you to focus on your muscles and your form,
are especially good for this. "Your attention is fully on you," says
Davidson. "You really feel every move, and that puts you in a more sensual
state."
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