Dear Selly; I'm Torn Between my Wife and my Girlfriend

Dear Selly, my girlfriend of 4 years is demanding I divorce my wife of 5 years or else we are through. I am torn because my wife is a lovely person but the years of me having fun have doubted my ability to enjoy my wife's company. My wife knows about the affair and says she accepts it. I feel under pressure to end my marriage because I fear losing my girlfriend who incidentally is more receptive to love making than my wife has ever been (I have known my wife for 15 years). I am 33 , my wife is 30 and my girlfriend is 25. To make matters worse I love them both but in different ways. Its not just about having your cake and eating it. I don't want to lose either person. My worry is that if I choose my wife then I will never get over my girlfriend and if I choose my girlfriend then perhaps I don't know her as well I thought I did. Please reasonable advice only.

Send Your questions to howtoliveinabuja@gmail.com. Be sure to start your questions with Dear Selly Thank you.

Warning!!! The Pictures You're About to See Cannot be Explained.

If You're a Mama's Boy; Omashé o

This is the worst thing that could ever happen to any man, being a mama's boy. Asin its the beginning of failure in all your relationships even marriage. It has its good sides in that your man will understand women better and know how to really treat you like a princess but the perka are  just so irritating to me, are you the only one that has a mum? Yea you love her to death, me too so what? She's your everything,  yes she's my life too but you don't see me being all up in your face about it and not spending time with you because I'm with her even when I see her every fucking day. Dear Abuja women asin this is an advice post on a serious note, RUN because its all fun and games until his mum wants to know how u fuck him, asin every single detail and she'll be in your business like say na she start am.

25 signs your man is a mamas boy below:

Abuja Mythbusters Episode 5: Love is in Abuja

The only love that is recognised in Abuja is Love for MONEY, every other Love is a myth.  To me Emotional abi Intimate Love is not in Abuja and you know why? Because everyones chasing money and power. If you are hoping to find love in Abuja then you must have already begun going to the mountain to fire prayer, even the married ones sef most are just hanging on because divorce na long thing for us Africans. Those who feel they have found true love, enjoy it while it lasts, hopefully God is with you.

Why Being a Lady in Abuja is Hell, Part 1

Abuja is a very crazy place, if you think uve seen it all come here and see madness on another level, its like battle of the sexes. The men looking out for themselves seeing ladies as gold digging, sugar daddy hungry females, the women just want to be comfortable and live a good life but are ready to do anything and everything to look like all those IG girls.
In Abuja, as a woman, the pressure to prove that you aint a hoe is on you and the odds are not in your favor I'm sorry, the men already have this mental list of typical Abuja behaviour and when u meet them and u tick at least 2 of these behaviours,  forget it because u don't even stand a chance of being GF material 3yards. No matter how loyal you think you are or how nice you are to them,  if you do one of these, just go to Ghana and look for bf:

Monday Inspiration: The Skill You Need to Stop Making Bad Decisions

Have you ever made a bad decision? Looking back, was it avoidable, if only you had sought out advice? If not, then congratulations: you are uniquely blessed. If so, then welcome to our club, a large one indeed.Avoidable bad decisions happen to everyone, and they keep happening to some. Why? Parents and teachers train us to apologize when causing harm and to give thanks when accepting help. But nobody trains young people, when they have an important decision to make, to ask themselves if they have the knowledge and experience to handle it, and if not, who does and can help.For diverse reasons of faulty judgment, emotion, social relations, and even biology, people do not try to bring the knowledge and experience of others to bear on their problems and challenges, in the service of better decision making.

Trippy Friday Episode 4

It was an idle Tuesday night sometime in September and a few friends and I decided to celebrate our friend Sean's birthday. Nothing too extreme, we spent a few hours at a local hooka club just smoking flavored tobacco and getting a light buzz then moved the party to my roommate and I's apartment where we drank a minimal amount of alcohol. We packed a glass bowl of weed and between about 5 people passed it while playing video games. I was lightly buzzed by the time the place started to clear out. The plan at this point was to get our friend Sean extremely wasted as our gift to him, but he dipped out on us leaving only my roommate, Hughie, and I with a lot of weed to smoke. A few weeks prior to this night, Hughie had made a 'gravity' bong out of a large glass bottle which he was anxious to show off to Sean. Excuse me for the quotations on 'gravity', but I've been smoking pot since I was 12 years old (I'm 20 now) and until Hughie moved in I had never experienced a homemade smoking apparatus. I had smoked a few times at this point out of his creation and had found it to be superior to a bowl, joint, blunt or any other way of smoking because it got one high extremely quick.

Abuja Ladies, Beware of Rohypnol

If you don't want to get raped, then stay away from drinks that u did not pour or open by yourself.  These Abuja Niggas got no chill these days and will do anything for sex like horny teenagers in puberty.  They don't mind spiking your drink with rohypnol or roche and since its chewable, they can grind it n put it in your drink or if you're the type that is ready to try anything (any type of drugs) to get high , they will convince you that roche will ginger you, asin make u feel good and hyped omo na wash because the kind sleep wey u go sleep ehn, person wey drunk better pass u, because u will not remember shit the next day. Asin ur brain go blank, so u fit no even remember if them rape u or not. Asin it will so hit u especially if you pop more than 2. If your brain light then 1 is enough mehn and u're finished.  My fellow womens, u no gats be virgin to avoid rape o biko stay away from rohypnol.  I done tell una.

Sorry for the Slow Posts

Mehn, my village people no wan leave me o, Even to post again dem go send internet issues HABA! God dey, posts will be regular again. Thanks guys.

TGIF: Do Not Die Tonight

Yes work has been crazy, the week has been stressful and finally another weekend has been bestowed upon us, but the world doesnt end tonight and so your life shouldnt, PLEASE DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE. BE SAFE

NYSC in Abuja Part 4: Allowee

19800 really? Like really, thats how much a grown ass adult who has no support from parents anymore and is jobless with no home or car, is supposed to use to survive in a new town like abuja for a year. Maybe its easy in other states of which I doubt but its hell in abuja. if ure here regardless, it will be hard, asin difficult, asin extremely unbearable because u see this suffer, u will suffer it. Let me start with females, we have to shop, buy toiletries, buy makeup, go out, like take care of ourselves some men will say its unecessary well remove 350 for pad from the allowee and see how much is left, and lets see how u feel when u need to take a lady out and dont have the money to, because we all need to be comfortable at least and 19800 is not realistic to make us even close to being comfortable, when I served, tp to my PPA was 14k every month and u know some PPA do not pay their corpers so 19800 minus 14000, thats 5800 to survive on? NA SO.

Sex Edutainment: 8 of your most common questions about sex

1. Am I Normal?

People want to know that their drives, responses, fantasies, or bodies aren't somehow weird — probably because so many of us learned as kids that sex is dirty and our bodily needs shouldn't be discussed. As adults, we crave assurance that we're OK. The answer is yes — of course you're normal! As long as your sex life isn't harming anyone and you're safe, there's no reason to be concerned about the shape of your desires, or your genitals. "Normal" encompasses a broad range of behaviors and bodies. You don't have to feel embarrassed or ashamed about uninhibitedly enjoying and exploring your sexuality. A first step in loosening those inhibitions is embracing this broader definition of "normal.""">Sometimes I sense that the unspoken question is really "My sex life is unfulfilling; is that normal?" It's certainly common, a sad reality for many. I believe this is because most women don't know how to ask for what they want in the bedroom (more about that later). Some aren't even sure what they want. Accepting yourself as normal, with a right to an uninhibited sexual self, will start you moving toward the sex life of your dreams.

"I Work with a Private Company"

Having a government job is many people's dream/wish, I mean the reasonable working hours, the sign in, go out, come back closing time and sign out pattern, the relaxed seriousness of the work and the luxury of owning a side business. Your boss may or may not be an asshole but he can't fire you because na government employ am too. Whether the pay is good or amazing, that feeling of security gives us peace of mind.

Private companies have stricter laws, more seriousness even when what's really been done is not much. If you come late two times, query, if you leave before time, warning, working hours between 9 and 11 but no less. Everything just so annoying.

Have a Laugh: 25 Completely Unexplainable Dating Site Pictures

Abuja Myth Busters. Episode 4: "We go to Villa to see Presido as we like"

Honestly this one is shocking and cracks me up aswear. Asin you hear people from other states asking you "so hows the president doing now?" as at how? like say una be neighbors for the same estate. Dem no dey see president anyhow, you fit even dey abuja 20years and you no go see am. How e take concern us sef? President dey share money? People wey dey always see am na people wey dey find contract and other things that they want from him.

So NO not all of us see the president every other day, we still dey see am for TV like una, some of us the closest we've been, is seeing his convoy on the way to the airport and na because say we gats wait.  People who ask this, now you know stop asking, it’s hilarious and annoying.

Mehn

My friday nights are the same, half the time I don't remember.  Be safe guys.

Trippy Friday: Episode 3

I'll start off by saying this report might be a little difficult to write, as it happened a few months ago and this is the first time I've attempted to write about it. But I wanted to submit it as many people don't realize how negative a trip you can get from pot. After having a trip like this I was first convinced that it must have been laced, as some of the things described in this report probably don't sound like pot, but I now realize that I probably just smoked too much to handle, and it was just some fucking potent weed. It was however one of THE MOST unpleasant experiences of my life.
I have smoked pot a fair amount, starting grade 7, but never at school. My friend Devin and I decided to smoke some pot before our grade 9 geography class as we figured we would just be giggly and it would be more fun. Bad assumption.

We obtained it from Devin's friend Jesse and smoked pails, each only getting about two hits. The hits were huge, but still only two hits, and that was it, we were fucked.

TGIF

Its Friday, my favorite day of all days. No work, I get to do whatever I like although I will miss the free wifi, but oh well fuck it, its totally worth it. I dont know about you but I leave my work life behind on friday and start looking for it sunday evening. Always remember,  party all you like but please DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE. Lets be safe to see many more Fridays. Love you guys.

Sex Edutainment: 5 Sex Topics You and Your Partner Must Discuss

 

Is your relationship heading to the next level? Or, maybe things have just been a bit underwhelming between the sheets? When you and your partner become intimate, ultimately great sex is the goal -- we get that. But before you hit the lights there are a few topics the two of you should cover, together, if you want to minimize your chances of an awkward moment in bed. Knowing each others desires, preferences, and sexual past is key in starting things off on the right foot. Here’s some great advice from two of our favorite sexperts on how to get there.

NYSC in Abuja Episode 3: "International Students Move This Way"

We wey no study for outside country, na only us sabi the feeling when the International students get treated like gods, e just be like make you just rewind time, go study abroad even if na Gabon make you just sha follow. The preferential treatment is on another level entirely. Let me just try and list a few of the many ways they get treated better than we the "local students":